
# Struggle to Adjust Out of Surviving to Live and Live Life.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I am now 8-10 months post transplant and life began to settle into a rhythm. One that looking back was not productive but I was happy and complacent. I was not trying to push myself as much as I should have been in my career goals and physical goal. I did not revert to feeling worse or my new heart was giving me problems, however I could not escape the lingering feeling when doing activities that something bad would happen.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I felt like I was still in the mindset of surviving to live and not living to survive. What I mean by that is I became cautious when pushing my heart rate higher when exercising and stimulating my mind. I had the energy but did not have the drive to pursue my goals. From working on my coding projects and pushing myself to learn to physically pushing myself to stretch my workouts longer to strengthen my new body.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; In terms of coding and doing more work, I would choose to play video games or just sit around and watch movies/shows like I did before my heart transplant. Many times I would feel bad after but would continue the same behavior.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; For working out I found that my muscles for years did not have enough oxygen to promote muscle growth and in time they became weakened. So far I have been trying to build that back up and get endurance to a level that was maybe 60 % before heart failure. This has been something that was hard to wrap my head around and accept that I needed to set the foundation first before moving forward to gain muscle mass and get back to do doing the things that I enjoyed physically.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I am writing this looking back at that time and appreciate the ability to rest and do these activities but also I wish that I did put more effort into, developing projects and goals met than I did during this time.


I am now 8-10 months post transplant and life began to settle into a rhythm.

Struggle to Adjust Out of Surviving to Live and Live Life.


# First Milestone Achieved Beach & Basketball

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; An exciting day happened in my 6 month after transplant doctor’s visit where I was given the clear to lift weights, go to gym, and be able to once again swim. One of my main loves before heart attack was swimming either in a pool and especially in the ocean. I grew up in the ocean and was an active surfer/body-boarder and really was missing the feel of floating in the ocean and being apart of the surfing community.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; By this time I got into a rhythm of daily life and was feeling good about my progress. I waited until the water was not extremely cold, around 68, and I have been walking at the beach close to 2 miles everyday. I saw the surf one day was not very big and decided to jump in the water and swim out past the breakers, it was glorious. I sat there and floated for 5 minutes and got very emotional realizing that I finally was able to get back in the water with my new heart. I caught a wave in and was tired but felt soo good, I sat on the beach for 30 minutes more just soaking in the experience of being back in the water.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Shortly after that milestone I went to the local rec center and shot around with a basketball. I was overjoyed that my chest was not sore and I was able to move and shoot like I used to do before. Several guys wanted me to join a game but I did not feel ready to do just that, yet.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I started to begin coding and doing some work again, part of it was building out this website and blog you see today. I began getting more into a daily routine that involved hanging out with my daughter after school doing lots of activities with her and at night play video games and read. Looking back I wish I was more productive and not play as much games, but I still was trying to deal with the feeling that I was not in the right mindset of learning and applying my skills to projects I wanted to do.


An exciting day happened in my 6 month after transplant doctor’s visit where I was given the clear to lift weights, go to gym, and be able to once again swim.

First Milestone Achieved Beach & Basketball


# Daily Life and Adjustments to the New Heart

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It has now been 2 months since the transplant and , I began to find a rhythm of how I felt during the day. Initially everything was so new and my energy compared to what I had before transplant was astronomically high. Getting used to this feeling took some time, and I had great difficulty falling asleep because like Nas says “sleep is the cousin of death”. I did not want to waste a moment a sleep but soon realized that it was hard to break this habit. After 1 month I was able to be with my daughter and we would go on walks and become more active together, no longer would I have to say Laura I am sorry but daddy cant do anything more today.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I still had times where I would be tired from trying to push hard doing exercise but it was no one near how I felt prior to a new heart. Now became the time where I was fighting through PTSD and realizing that I can do tasks and activities that before I either got shocked because I went into Vtach or my heart rate went high and was worried that I would have another heart attack. Over time of the first several months my dreams no longer caused me to feel uneasiness of death.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I joined a support group through UCSD and it helped process what I have gone through so far, and connect with others. My day became more consistent and I was reading and playing video games in between working out and playing with my daughter. Medications at first were heavy and I was able to lower my dose of Tacrolimus and prednisone. My appetite came back with a vengeance and I was hovering around 225 lbs. No matter what I tried getting that weight off because of the prednisone bloating me was very hard to do.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; By the end of 4 months I felt more confident exercising, eating and prepping healthy meals, or at least trying to, and being able to communicate my issues with my heart team. Moving forward I realized that for my 6 month after transplant my chest was no longer sore and I felt confident being able to utilize my upper body more. Soon I felt that I could go swimming, play basketball and engage with my daughter in sports.


It has now been 2 months since the transplant and , I began to find a rhythm of how I felt during the day.

Daily Life and Adjustments to the New Heart


# Moments of Being Scared and Great Relief.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The wild adventure of heart failure and the ups and downs of waiting for a new heart all these long years finally came to an end. In May 2021 I was admitted to the hospital after a routine right heart catheter because my EF and heart output was dangerously low. I was informed that I would not be able to leave the hospital until I received a new heart.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; On June 12th, I got the word from my nurse that day to go NPO and a heart is on its way and will be in surgery that night. I was scared, excited and relieved all at the same time. The procedure went well and waking up in the ICU, I did not fully know where I was and how I felt yet.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The first week in the hospital I was recovering very well, I became known as the star wars guy, because my family bought me several legos and I proceeded to build them 2 days out, 4 days out and 7 days out from transplant. I was discharged from the hospital 10 days after initial surgery and was extremely sore but felt like a new man.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The initial moment I knew that my heart was running well was on the Sunday after transplant and they took me fully off the medications that kept my new heart from not collapsing my artery's and veins, I had sooo much energy that day and felt like I did prior to heart attack in 2014.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Immediately from coming home, I felt like I wanted to go walk everyday but soon found out that my body still needed to heal not ready to push too far. Taking medications and getting used to the effects of them was a new experience but luckily I did not have too many issues with the side effects.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; During this time I could not see my beautiful 5 year old daughter and still had to do face-time because I was still critical in terms of catching an infection, one day she showed up with her mom and was in the in the backyard. I was able to be on the balcony and see her in person and give her reassurance that daddy was going to be ok, it was a beautiful moment.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The first month back I was getting used to having this new heart, every night I would meditate and talk to the heart accepting it and wishing it to continue its journey with me and be prepared to go on many adventures! It was still difficult to move around with my chest feeling like an axe went through it and the many doctors visits and by this time had 2 routine heart cath’s and biopsy to check for rejection. Thankfully there was none to be seen!


The wild adventure of heart failure and the ups and downs of waiting for a new heart all these long years finally came to an end.

Moments of Being Scared and Great Relief.


# Year Celebration of Life With Daughter

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Woohoo! I made it a full year after transplant! I have to thank the team at UCSD and everyone here to support me during this journey and it has been a hell of a journey so far and more to come. Many times I have been extremely thankful for the wonderful care and attention that the UCSD Heart Transplant team provides.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I celebrated with family my 2nd birthday, that's right I now have 2 birthdays a year and I wrote and sent my letter to the donor family, do not know if I will ever get a letter back. On my year anniversary I had a the big heart check where they go through the artery and diagnose how the heart has been performing and so far all has gone to plan and no issues present which is great news.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The most exciting of all this was the unexpected announcement from my ex-wife that we were all going together to Disneyland for my daughters first time. This is was a major event that I have discussed with her for several years prior to a new heart and was relieved that I had the opportunity to go with her.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It was a very magical trip and I went all out, got her a Snow White dress rode all the rides with her and even waited in line many times to meet Princess and characters and get autographs signed. To see her joy and amazement when we saw her favorite Minnie and Elsa was priceless. I cried several times watching her see it all for the first time and cant wait to go again.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Boy does these moments make you truly feel alive.


Woohoo! I made it a full year after transplant!

Year Celebration of Life With Daughter


# Diet & Goals for Future, Unexpected Roadblocks

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Now we are 10 months into my recovery journey and I have come to realize that I really enjoyed getting back to where I was at before. Some of the things that I have encountered and struggled with was a healthy diet and goals for the future also one very big roadblock. First the diet, I was soo happy to be able to eat foods that prior to heart failure was a no go because I could not eat a lot and was not compatible with my body chemistry and the failing heart. Burritos are a big one here and I have always been a sucker for mexican food. As you know this food is not the healthiest with the amount of salt and portion size that prior, I could not get a lot of. Now with more movement and exercising I found that I could eat these items and not feel horrible but overtime I noticed that, weight was coming back.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I got my weight down to 208 around the 8th month because I got off of higher doses of prednisone and the medications that limited the bloat and water retention from repairing the heart. So far I have had no rejection and all my vital signs have been looking great. But Christmas time came around and all those sweets and food made for company that was in my house caused me to eat too much and started to rise up in lbs. I realized that I need to more cognizant of what I was injecting.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; During the last 3 months I was also attending Cardiac Rehab which helped quite a lot in getting comfortable in recognizing how my body was feeling and improve my health. They did have a diet section which was informative but sadly no cooking because of COVID and that is what I needed the most.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Than January 2022 came around and I contracted COVID and was really scared, I did not have extreme symptoms and was able to recover from this. When I informed my doctors that I was positive immediately they took me off my rejection meds and I went to receive an IV of monoclonal antibodies, and I will tell you that was a godsend. Felt better in less than 2 days but had to continue not taking my meds for another week.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; After that COVID scare however, something that too me was more nefarious my heart was in low rejection, this was caused from not taking my meds during that time recovering from COVID. Luckily restarting my TACRO and starting SIROLIMUS jump started the anti rejection meds again and in 2 weeks when I was tested again the rejection was not present and I blew a sigh of relief.


Now we are 10 months into my recovery journey and I have come to realize that I really enjoyed getting back to where I was at before.

Year Celebration of Life With Daughter

June 13 2022

Diet & Goals for Future, Unexpected Roadblocks

April 30th 2022

Struggle to Adjust Out of Surviving to Live and Live Life.

February 13 2022

First Milestone Achieved Beach & Basketball

December 16th 2021

Daily Life and Adjustments to the New Heart

September 15th 2021

Moments of Being Scared and Great Relief.

July 06 2021